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I'm dull and I know it. Until a year ago, I had only had sex with three women in my life, with no encores, except with my wife. A year ago, I was visiting with my 60-year-old mother and she shocked me by asking me if I had a sex life. I embarrassedly said no, and that I hadn't had sex in well over a year. She asked me to do her a favor that would help us both out. Her best friend (also 60) was very sad that she hadn't had sex since her husband passed away over 5 years ago. I said no out of shock, but a little while later I agreed, since I was very horny and beating off almost every night.My mother said she would set it up and call me when she had. She called me up about a week later and said for me to come over on Tuesday afternoon. When I arrived she and her friend were having teas in her living room. Mom made the introductions and it was obvious that both her friend and I were quite shy about this procedure. Mother ushered us into her bedroom and closed the door. But after 20. And I do love you, mom.”“I know, son. And I love you.”“Yeah I know you do but like…well…not like I love you. I love you like you love my dad.”“You’re my flesh and blood, son. Of course I love you.”“I know.”“Do you want me to tell you something about your dad, son?”“No.”“Well I will anyway. He’s got the sexual energy of a celibate sloth.”“What?”“Honestly, sweetheart. I’ve tried everything to get his attention: lifting up my skirt when he’s least expecting it, wearing see-thru panties…We were having a meal the other week in this posh restaurant. I went to the toilet and when I came out I had my knickers in my hand, put them on the table…nothing.”“He didn’t bring his meal up, did he?”“A woman has her needs, son. The simple fact is, my sex drive’s still through the roof whereas your dad’s…well it’s buried under the patio to be frank.”“Yeah well, you still love him, don’t you?”“Of course I do. I’ll always love him.”“Yeah, well I’m taking you home where you belong.”“I’m coming to your.
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